


Three Years

by princessmichael



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3792241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessmichael/pseuds/princessmichael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot can change in three years, Michael could tell you that. In three years you can watch the blonde-haired, lip-ringed, blue-eyed boy that you're so helplessly in love with crawl out of your body and make a home in someone else's. Three years is enough time for you to realize that all you've ever wanted and all you'll ever continue to long for is a warm body next to you, the opposite of an empty bed to wake up to every morning. </p><p>It's been three years and Michael still sleeps with Luke's penguin, still cuddles it at night and wishes that things could've gone differently. But how can he be selfish enough to deny someone that he was willing to give his own life for the right to walk away when he felt like it was time for him to move on? He couldn't. So just like that, Luke walked out of his life and was never to be seen or heard from again. </p><p>That is until Michael's pressed up against some pretty blonde-haired, lip-ringed, blue-eyed boy with much broader shoulders than he could've remembered Luke's to be. His nose pressed against his neck, the scent comfortingly familiar aside from the expensive cologne sprayed onto his collarbones. This was what home smelled like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> if u have any suggestions for this fanfic since im not really sure where i'm going with it, you can send stuff to me on my tumblr (thumbtattoo.tumblr.com) or my twitter (@anchortothemoon) or u could just leave it down in the comments n i'll try my best to please everyone !! :-)

No one ever thought someone like Luke would take interest in someone like Michael. Luke was the loser-turned-cool kid, standing at a model-like height of 6'3", dashing blue eyes and luscious blonde hair that Michael wanted more than anything to run his fingers through. (But then when he thought about it he really didn't because there was probably tons of gel in Luke's hair to get it perfectly quiffed and he wouldn't want his fingers getting caught in Luke's hair and make a complete fool out of himself. It was a nice thought, though.) Luke's lower lip was pierced and he'd bite at it whenever he got nervous or flustered and that was something that drove tons of girls (and Michael, the equivalent of a teenage girl) insane. Michael was just an average guy who listened to bands like My Chemical Romance and All Time Low and tried to act like he was tough when in all actuality if he ever got into a fight with someone he'd get his ass kicked. That fact never stopped him from threatening to kill someone if they dared lay eyes on his boyfriend. He's a jealous little shit especially when it comes to Luke. Luke doesn't really mind because it partially makes him feel safe, like Michael would be able to protect him from anything. It was a nice thought even if Michael was shorter than Luke and not quite as broad.

It was sophomore year when they started dating. Michael used to tease Luke all the time and then the Gods up above (or maybe it was Satan, Michael still isn't sure) decided to fuck with him and put some magic hormones in Luke's apple juice one morning and - holy fuck, it was like the kid's balls dropped or something. Michael didn't know how to explain it. Luke just walked into school and looked hotter than usual and he couldn't help but be annoyed with it. Mainly because now girls were fawning all over him and it'd been his plan since his second - so what if he got left back, he was stupid, big deal - and Luke's first freshman year to get into Luke's pants and now his chances were decreasing. He wasn't so annoyed when Luke happened to "accidentally" walk in on him wanking in the school's bathroom. Luke claimed that the door was unlocked and he thought no one was using the stall but Michael was convinced that maybe, just maybe, he'd been a little too loud with his little whimpers of "Luke" every time he rubbed at the slit of his cock with his thumb. Either way, Luke walked out of that bathroom with a smirk on his face and some cum on his shirt and Michael walked out with his pride and a new bragging right whenever he talked to Calum. _  
_

They decided to make it official one night when Luke invited Michael over to finish a group project they'd been assigned to work on together. Michael wasn't really good in school so when Luke asked him to come over to help with the project he was a little unsure because  _fuck_ of course he wants to go over to Luke's house and see Luke's room and sit on Luke's bed and maybe leave hickeys all over Luke's neck but he also doesn't want Luke to think that he's fucking stupid. He went anyway. Luke ended up doing most of the project himself, asking Michael to search certain things up on Google and to pass him the scissors or gluestick or whatever he needed that was too far away just to make Michael feel like he was of some use. Luke could've easily finished the project himself but he wanted Michael to come over anyway. Luke's mom ended up ordering pizza and Luke and Michael spent maybe an hour arguing over which pizza toppings were better. Michael eventually won because Luke was too level-headed to really care about winning such a silly argument but it still made Michael smile like a kid on Christmas coming downstairs to a bunch of presents with his name on them. After Luke finished the project they just laid in bed together, not really talking, just staring up at Luke's ceiling. It was nice, peaceful even, until Michael had to make some dumb comment about how hot Jack Barakat looked in Luke's All Time Low poster that was hanging up on his wall. Of course Luke had to retaliate and say that Alex was hotter, which eventually led into Michael blurting out that he thought Luke was hotter than both of them. He'd never seen Luke's cheeks go so red before, he kinda liked it. Luke asked him to be his boyfriend right after he asked him if he wanted to stay the night. Michael said yes to both of those questions.

Everything went smoothly for the next two years, they'd managed to not get into too many fights and whatever fights they had gotten into they were able to resolve before rumors had spread around the school. By time senior year came around Michael was starting to worry. Only because Luke would be getting scholarships into exquisite schools that cared about sports and academics like... Harvard? Yale? Michael wasn't too keen on the idea of college so he never really looked into big names like those, especially because he knew that he wouldn't be able to afford it. Luke tried to convince him to bring his grades up or join a sport and maybe they'd both get scholarships to the same universities but it just wasn't like Michael. He struggled keeping his average above a C, how could he magically bounce it up to an A in a few months so that he'd impress colleges? Long story short, Michael got accepted into the local college and Luke ended up getting accepted into Victoria University, which Michael was almost positive was a local college and then some out of the country one. Luke picked the latter. Prom came and went, Luke and Michael were crowned prom king and prom king, Luke joked about how "gay" the whole thing was and Michael just snorted and said "Well, I am pretty gay, I take it up the ass all the time."

When it was time for Luke to go away to college things got weird. They had planned to spend the whole summer together but as soon as high school ended Luke got busy with his family and his other friends and it seemed like he had no time for Michael. He'd barely respond to Michael's texts, constantly ignore and never return his phone calls and when he did they'd last for a couple minutes before he'd make up and excuse for why he couldn't talk. The only time Luke wanted Michael around was when he was packing and that was only so that Michael could sit on his bags while he zipped them up. Summer vacation was almost over and Michael had barely even got to spend a day with Luke. When Luke finally had to leave for college he managed to convince Michael to come with him. Michael was passing up the local college in hopes that he'd get accepted into some other university in America so that he could be closer to Luke. His parents begged him not to go, only because if things didn't work out with him and Luke he'd be all alone for a while but Michael refused to listen to anyone. That's just how dumb lovestruck teenagers think, they go with the flow and don't care about the consequences. 

Unfortunately for Michael, his parents were right. Things didn't work out with him and Luke. One night he came home from his second job and found Luke and Calum in bed together. He never thought he'd see the day his best friend and his boyfriend betrayed him. Luke moved out later that week, took most of his stuff and moved into a dorm on campus. Calum and Luke went to the same college, so that left Michael all alone in this big apartment with barely any money to actually pay for it. When the lease was up he moved into a smaller place, he could afford it much easier than he could afford his old apartment. It didn't smell like Luke, nothing reminded him of Luke (besides the things that he'd hidden when Luke was packing so that he'd have something to remember him by). He was much more content here than he thought he'd be. The only problem was that every time he brought someone home all he could think about was Luke and how he felt like he was betraying him and how he couldn't bare to be with anyone else because he was completely and utterly in love with Luke.

Michael didn't think he'd ever be able to move on. It'd been three years and Michael still sleeps with Luke's penguin, still cuddles it at night and wishes that things could've gone differently. But how can he be selfish enough to deny someone that he was willing to give his own life for the right to walk away when he felt like it was time for him to move on? He couldn't. So just like that, Luke walked out of his life and was never to be seen or heard from again. That was until Michael was in some random bar pressed up against some pretty blonde-haired, lip-ringed, blue-eyed boy with much broader shoulders than he could've remembered Luke's to be. His nose pressed against his neck, the scent comfortingly familiar aside from the expensive cologne sprayed onto his collarbones. This was what home smelled like.


	2. two

Luke can feel hands all over him, hips pressing against his ass through thin layers of material, a small smirk forming on his lips. Michael's hands are resting on Luke's hips and Luke reaches up, grabs his wrists and guides his hands to the front of him. Michael's hands hover over the growing bulge in Luke's skinny jeans and for a second he wants to stop this, wants to take his hands off of Luke and leave because this isn't right. Luke isn't his any more and he's not sure what's going on with him and Calum but he doesn't want to know. Luke isn't his concern anymore and - fuck - he was doing so good, nearly forgot about Luke or maybe he didn't but he'd like to convince himself that he did just so that he didn't seem as pathetic as he thought he did. Luke's eyebrows quirked up suddenly, furrowing together slightly as he turned around to face Michael. God, Michael was fucked. Luke looked so pretty and his lips pink and pouty and so fucking kissable and he wanted more than anything to lean in and kiss him as hard as he could but he wasn't his to kiss. He was starting to think that he never had been, that the summer before they moved away was his warning that things were going to end badly. He wasn't sure why he stayed around for as long as he did. Fuck, he was nearly 22 years old now, Luke 21, and he was still chasing after ghosts that left him years ago. He was tired of chasing after the ghosts in his bedroom, the monsters in the closet; looking or maybe just hoping that something good would come out of it. He was tired. Michael wasn't sure how much longer he could do this for, or if this was even worth it anymore. Luke left him so why was he the only one who seemed even the slightest bit phased by the sudden changes in their daily routines, even their vocabulary. Whenever Michael tried to text Luke he had to refrain from saying "I love you" or "I miss you" or calling him his boyfriend, these changes were so drastic and out of the blue and it seemed like Luke had been doing just fine without him. 

It didn't seem fair to Michael that Luke was doing fine but he was still so fucked up over this. He'd like to deny the fact and claim that he was fine and that his friends shouldn't worry about him but that was far from the truth. Michael and Luke both knew that Michael just had a hard time trusting people with his feelings and letting people in, it was something that they had been working on for a while. Luke had been trying to get Michael to come to a frat party to meet some of his friends but Michael was too nervous to go. Luke probably knew Michael was doing worse than just okay because he'd been on the other end of his drunken rampages. A few of the texts that Michael had ended up sending to Luke on multiple occasions are along the lines of and certainly not limited to:

> _[To: Luke - Delivered: 2:37 A.M.]_

I miss you so muhc, fuck

> _[To: Luke - Delivered: 2:37 A.M.]_

pLEASE come back, i promsie i'll be good, i'lld o whatever you want, please

i nee d u :((

> _[To: Luke - Delivered: 4:58 A.M.]_

I cnt believev you tfucked CALUM my best frien d why?? does he have a nicer cock loll fuck i wish yuo loved me

> _[To: Luke - Delivered: 5:29 A.M]_

gos i wish you'd answer you r texts :( i love you somuch

> _[To: Luke - Delivered: 12:32 P.M.]_

sorry about those... i guess i got drunk and we both know how upset i get sometimes, just ignore them (not like you didnt anyway) can you just call me or something i just wanna know how youre doing i dont really know much of anything lately but i love you and i know im shit at expressing my feelings but i do love you like?? so much?? a lot, yeah, i just wanna know how youre doing so if you could just call or text that'd be SO great i'd really appreciate it i hope youre having fun wherever you are :)

> _[To: Luke - Delivered: 3:45 P.M.]_

luke?

> **[To: Michael - Delivered: 3:46 P.M.]**

yeah miss you too talk soon ok?

 

That's how most of their conversations went. Michael put too much effort and energy into it, always begging Luke for a reply and Luke would text back with false hope and empty promises of them actually being able to talk soon. But now Luke was right in front of him, staring at him with a curious expression on his face and Michael couldn't hold back any more. He pressed Luke against the nearest wall as quickly as he could and kept him there by pressing his body firmly against Luke's, his hands cupping his cheeks quickly and his lips finding their way to Luke's almost simultaneously. This felt right, more than right, this felt like everything he'd been waiting for. Not only that but it felt wrong, there was a growing feeling in the pit of Michael's stomach that made him feel uneasy. Maybe this wasn't right, maybe Luke was still with Calum or even someone else and he was just getting himself into a sticky situation that he'd immediately want out of. The thought alone scared him, causing him to pull away abruptly and stare at Luke shyly, cheeks flushed and heart beating so fast and thudding against his chest so loud that he was afraid Luke might hear it over the music blasting through the speakers at the bar.

"What's wrong?" Luke asks.

It's a simple question, something Michael could just shrug off and then continue kissing him like nothing matters but he knows that's not the right thing to do. He's scared that the right thing to do will make his heart sink back into his stomach and his arms forget what holding someone that he loves feels like and that his nose will forget Luke's scent, eyes forget the way he looks and his ears forget his voice. Most importantly he's afraid that he'll forget the way Luke tastes, how sweet his lips are against his own - like a forbidden fruit, like something that was never really his in the first place and something that wasn't meant to be his at all. Michael sighs and presses his forehead against Luke's, eyes shutting tightly as he breathes out shakily and kisses him once more.

"I love you," Michael frowns, "that's what's wrong. Because I've been in love with you for almost six years and three of those years you just brushed me off like I meant nothing to you. And now you're here and you're back and I can hold you and kiss you and - fuck you. Fuck you for leaving me all alone for three years. You're a fucking dick. Fuck you."

He's just looking for reasons to be mad at Luke because hating him would be easier than loving him and right now neither of them are easy for Michael to do. He wishes he was in his bed in his apartment watching Friends on Netflix and complaining to his friends about how much of an asshole Luke was. Instead, here he is - face to face with the guy who broke his heart but the same guy that he'd still willingly jump in front of a bullet for if it meant saving his life and keeping him happy. It's sick how Michael would do literally anything to make sure Luke wasn't ever unhappy, even after that's all he's been able to make him for three years.

"Michael."

God, Michael knows it's coming. The rejection. He can feel it and he wants it to be over already so he can feel humiliated and sulk in bed all day until he works up the courage to go to another bar and find another blonde boy with blue eyes and lips that will whisper even more empty promises. He knows Luke doesn't want him, he's known it for the longest time but it's never been as real as it is right now. He's never been right in front of Luke and he's never had him tell him verbally that he's not into him anymore and that everything that happened in the past is just that - the past. He's making up all these scenarios in his head and he feels like he knows the outcome to all of them will be fairly similar to the real outcome and he'll walk out of the bar with his head hanging low and his tail between his legs as soon as Luke lets him down easy.

"I'm still with Calum."

And there it was, the rejection that Michael had been waiting for all along. Michael lets out a soft chuckle and shakes his head, jerking away from Luke almost instantly. He runs his hands over his face and sighs loudly. "Fuck," He groans. Running his fingers through his hair, he bites at the inside of his cheek and focuses on the floor, feeling as if he's gonna burst into tears at any given moment because just when he thought things would start to look up and he'd get his Luke back, they took a turn for the worst just like always. "Are you happy?" It's the only question Michael can mutter out, shockingly still somehow having enough compassion for Luke to care about his happiness more than his own even in the shittiest of outcomes, such as this one. Michael doesn't even have to look up to know that Luke nods, he knows the blonde too well. Of course he's happy, he's always happy. He could be happy with anyone who treats him right. Luke's able to adapt to things easily, probably forgot all about Michael's favorite movies to have room to memorize Calum's. 

Standing there, Michael can only think of other questions he wants to ask but knows that he won't. Like if Luke still prefers tea to coffee or if he finished college or if he's finishing this year and what he plans to be when he gets older, if it's the same as it's been since sophomore year or if it's changed, if he's as happy with Calum as he was with him, who he talks to about the stars, if he even cares about stars anymore, if he was upset that Zayn left One Direction, if he ever checked in on his family back home, if he still loved him. If Luke still loved him.


End file.
